Big news from easyHotel.
The budget chain — run independently from the no-frills airline — is offering fake views of iconic London landmarks at its Old Street branch.
Pay an extra £1 and you get a photo to stick on the wall of your windowless room, so you can pretend you’re sleeping across the road from somewhere like Westminster Abbey.
The Inspector’s first room hadn’t been cleaned and his second was furnished with only a bed, two hooks and a bin. Pictured is the hotel’s lobby
But when I pitch up, there are no piccies left. Not a big disappointment, especially in light of what follows.
I’m paying £51.95 with an option to spend £5.45 on a ‘breakfast box’, £5 for wifi and £10 for room cleaning.
I head to my room in a bashed elevator, along soiled carpets and chipped walls, chased by a stench of disinfectant. The easyJet orange doesn’t help and room numbers are given a confusing decimal point — 201 is 2.01.
I open my door and see the room has not been cleaned or made up since the last person. It’s not pretty.
He says of the easyHotel (pictured) – ‘I’ve yet to spend a night in jail, but I imagine it’s better than this’
Back at reception, I’m told to wait, as the man in charge ‘has popped out to buy something’.
My new room has a bed, two hooks and a bin. That’s it. No table, chair, hangers, shampoo, TV — no redeeming features.
The space between bed and wall is about 12in; the soap dispenser is half-full and sticky; the basin is so small that water splashes on the floor when you wash your face, which doesn’t matter, because when you use the dribbly shower, it floods the white floor.
I hang my jacket on one hook, trousers on the other, and the rest goes on the floor. There’s no mattress protector and the lumpen duvet complements the spongy pillows.
I’ve yet to spend a night in jail, but I imagine it’s better than this.
80 Old Street, London EC1V 9AZ
0843 902 7000, easyhotel.com
Doubles from £19.99